MISSOULA — The family you choose.
It's a motto that's become synonymous with the Griz football program over the last several months.
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For the man who brought it to Montana, it has a meaning that runs deep thanks to where he comes from.
"To be a part of, I would say, something bigger than yourself is really exciting," UM head football coach Bobby Kennedy said in a recent sit-down interview with MTN Sports. "But also for me, my dad, I'm the youngest of eight, I was adopted. And my dad said the first thing he did when they brought me home was put a football in my crib."
Born in Denver, Kennedy spent a year in an orphanage until he was brought into his new home.
"At that time, in the 1960s, mid-60s, not a lot of people were adopting biracial babies," Kennedy said. "And so I was really fortunate to end up with a good family and seven really good brothers and sisters. And then also my parents were tremendous. So they took me in when I needed a home, so I feel very blessed."
Kennedy grew up Boulder, Colo., and didn't skip a beat.
"I grew up in a white family. And so there was always that difference, being African American, right?" Kennedy said. "And so at a young age, I knew I was different. But the great thing about my family is they never made me feel any different or not a part of the family.
"The family you choose, right? Like they chose me and integrated me into their family. And so that was special and then also I was very blessed."
Sports, especially football, took hold of Kennedy, which eventually led him to Northern Colorado where he was a quarterback from 1985-88 and studied political science.
"I'd be less than honest if I was to say I had a great career at the University of Northern Colorado," Kennedy said. "I was a career backup. Wasn't maybe as mature in some aspects that I needed to be or even serious about the sport. And that kind of had a lasting impact as I transitioned into coaching, just understanding maybe the commitment it takes and try to help guys with their commitment level."
Coaching always interested Kennedy, though, so after time spent around Northern Colorado, the University of Colorado and the Denver Broncos, he moved away from home and began at the University of Illinois.
While there as a graduate assistant, a particular trip to Arizona tested whether or not Kennedy was truly built for the profession.
"We had a really good team at Illinois also, but wow, they beat the daylights out of us," he said. "And after the game, it was a night game, fly back to Champaign. We couldn't get into Champaign because there was fog in Champaign. I think we landed at 5 a.m. in Chicago, then we had to bus down to Champaign, which was another three hours. And we'd been up for already 24 hours.
"And then go home, shower, come back to the office, in the office all day that day, and then all night because I had to get the scouting report ready and do all these things. And I was like, wow, this is different than I thought it was going to be. But after that first year, things started to go a little more smooth."
What followed were stops at some of the largest college programs in the country, including Penn State, Washington, Texas, Iowa and Stanford.
Those days at Texas were highlighted by a national championship run under then-coach Mack Brown.
"He's got a tremendous personality. And coaching is about relationships," Brown told MTN Sports. "You've got to take a guy from where he is to where he wants to go, and Bobby did that. He had tremendous receivers while we were at the University of Texas. Of course, we made the run to win the national championship. He's sitting there sending the plays in. I saw the Vince Young documentary the other night, Bobby is standing right there in the middle of it. And so he's been in tremendous games. He's had it under a lot of pressure in those games and he's always handled it well.
"But I would think when you meet him, he's a happy person. He's a person that wants to get to know you. He's a guy who I would want my son to play for because I always told our coaches, treat our players like you would want your sons or daughters to be treated. And Bobby's always done that."
Bruce Lipien, one of Kennedy's childhood friends, said Kennedy's authenticity and care toward others have led him to these unique life opportunities.
"He was blessed with that unique gift to be able to — he can walk into a room of complete strangers and be one of the guys that when he walks out of the room, he has talked to everyone," Lipien said. "He's gotten their story, just connected with them. He finds whatever level they're at. He finds that level to to be on the same page with them. But it's all genuine. It's not forced. It's not an act. Just a really unique quality."
"I think as you get older, you realize it is about helping these guys, helping grow them," Kennedy added. "They all have different family situations and different experiences and developing those relationships and being able to be present in their lives. It's blessed me probably more than that I bless them.
"Just being around those people just taught me so much. And I go back so often and I think about or reference like the way they handle themselves or different situations. And, everybody needs mentors in life, right? People that they can look to and turn to for not only guidance and support, but also to hopefully model yourself after, and when you're around good people, it kind of makes it easy."
And everywhere he's gone, Kennedy has made sure to continue growing.
"The fun thing for assistants is it's so new and it's so fresh, but they get to just use their gut. Just go for it," Brown said. "There's no book that tells you how to handle some of this stuff. So you get ideas from your past and talk to your head coaches and assistants that you care about. But being a head coach is a lonely job. You're out there by yourself and you got to have somebody to talk to. I'm glad that I'll be here for Bobby if he needs to talk."
Alongside Kennedy throughout this journey has been his wife LaShonda, with the two married for 28 years.
A family of two with no kids in the wild world of coaching, she's been his rock every step of the way.
"She grew up in Jacksonville, North Carolina, around the Marine base, and her dad was an engineer on the base," Kennedy said. "And she said she never wanted to marry anybody in the military because they moved too much.
"She's always been really supportive, and she's been willing to pick up and move, even when it wasn't the best situation for her. And so I'm really fortunate to have a great wife."
That has now led him to the opportunity to be at Montana as the program's new head coach, and first-ever Black head coach, as he follows in the footsteps of just a few of his many coaching idols and mentors.
"I've worked for three Black head coaches, right? Jon Embree at Colorado, David Shaw at Stanford, and then also Jim Caldwell," Kennedy said. "Those guys, the way I look at things is, they paved the path for me, right? It's an honor, and hopefully there's other kids, not just Black kids, but white kids, Hispanic kids, that look at me and say I can do it. Because it's cool to be the first, but hopefully it's the first of many."
He got to Montana in a whirlwind right before camp as the wide receivers coach last season, and in that time, he's already left an impact on players in the program.
"I love BK. That's my guy," UM wide receiver Brooks Davis said. "I think he brought our receiver group super close when he first got here. We loved him. He loved us back. Like, the family you choose thing is his motto. That's really big for us. And he chose us. We chose him. And I think he just brought us all together really well."
"This job, this position, it's also about time, right?" Kennedy added. "And we've got great fans, We've got good players. Like, how can you make them feel important and give of yourself so they can have a positive experience with you? And that's what I got from a lot of these people that I've been able to be around. So I just feel very fortunate."
For Lipien, seeing his lifetime friend accomplish so much in his career culminate in a head job also meant the world.
"From the excitement part, just to see him be the guy leading them out on the field after all these years is going to be really, really cool," Lipien said. "Then the nervousness of, OK, do they have all their I's dotted and T's crossed, so to speak? And hopefully at some point throughout that we can just kind of relax and enjoy what's unfolding in front of us and see the Griz take care of business."
The wait is over, the program is his, and the man known as "BK" now leads the charge with the family he's chosen.
"He truly loves us like we're his kids, so we're all just a big family," Davis said. "Like, we're willing to die for each other on that field. We trust him. He puts his trust in us. So I think that's what really pushes us to give it all on the field."
"He's got a huge heart," Brown added. "He cares about the players off the field and he's still tough enough to make the decisions to win on the field. And that's what, in my estimation, makes a great head coach."
"If I leave my mark on this program, hopefully I want to win a lot of games, right? A lot of games. Love to win the national championship," Kennedy said. "But also, for guys to have an experience that they look back and they say, wow, I came to the University of Montana, I played for coach Kennedy. I really enjoyed that experience. We won a lot of games, got my education. What a great way to start my life."
